Over reaction, or just too much?

It was difficult to fathom (at first) what triggered a bad bout of hyper vigilance today.

Driving to our nearest “almost a city” (28 miles away) wasn’t hard, or stressful,  and something we had done before but, on arrival, I could feel the hair on my neck stand up, a well elevated state of alertness kick in and, within 10 minutes, I came close to engaging with a fool who pushed past me in a shop.

After that everything went steadily down hill and our morning out plans reduced to less than a couple of hours before I’d had enough of ‘city folk’ and we drove home. Again the drive was uneventful but. on drawing up at home, I felt like hammered crap!

Only, the shopping list hadn’t been fulfilled so, after a light lunch, we headed off to our local town (17 miles away), with the wife driving and me cat napping in the passenger seat.

Different experience, small town politeness, easy conversation, everyone walking at half ‘city speed’, and we were in and out within a half an hour, with what we needed.

Only the damage had been done and I was exhausted from being hyper vigilant over the 5 hours in total we were out.

incidentally, there is a medical term for this ‘phobia’ aka enochlophobia.
The perceived dangers posed by large gatherings of people you might encounter in daily life. It also includes the fear of being harmed in a crowd.

Preppers call that being situationally aware and self defence.
PTSD sufferers just call it HELL!
With too many ignorant people, too close, losing sight of the exit, and an invasion of personal space.

Plus I guess we were also both thinking COVID, masks, and social distancing aka get the fk’ away from us man!

2 thoughts on “Over reaction, or just too much?

  1. Hesitated to push “like” because that sounds exhausting Paul. My son periodically deals with PTSD, and I’ve noticed when he’s had an exhausting week, he’s more vulnerable to those flair ups.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Doug my friend, I’ve been fighting the results of yesteryear on and off for 30 something years. While it can be ‘difficult’ sometimes, my reactions have mellowed over time.

    As for your son?
    Tell him hi from me, he’s not alone in his pain, and I offer these words.

    Time mellows.
    Stay off booze and drugs (especially medication) as both will enslave you.

    IF you are a God fearing man, that’s good. IF you aren’t, so what!
    Religion works for some, not others and that’s OK.

    Personally I find solace in nature.
    What calms you? If you don’t know, find something and use it!

    If you have a loved one remember this. It isn’t all about you as your stress and pain will rub off onto them. When you suffer, they will carry some of the pain.

    My wife knows when I’m hurting and offers this every time. “If you want to talk about it I’m here”. I seldom do but just knowing that is good. However, talking is good only set limits. Content and duration. This is not for you, but for their welfare. Listen to them too. Never be dismissive of their fears.

    Anyway, you are not alone in your pain and will NEVER be alone again.

    Keep safe Bro.


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